“I opened my underwear drawer and found a pair of newly folded panties in there, with red hearts. They weren’t mine.”
So began one of many tales of woe and fun at last night’s Halloween dinner party.
The panty finder was the wife. The husband said that when he came home from work that day, his wife held the panties out by her fingertips and said: “Do these panties look familiar to you?”
The husband didn’t actually know. He thought that they were his wife’s panties. As the screaming commenced, the husband said that he would get to the bottom of the panty caper. He would find out to whom those panties belonged. Who else had been in the house? Had the babysitter or the housecleaner used the washer machine? Had the laundry been sent out for laundering and perhaps a new pair of panties got into the mix?
The wife stopped screaming long enough to allow the investigation to continue. Whose ass was small enough to fit into these hearty panties?
Turns out that the babysitter, age 21, had washed her clothes at their house. She somehow left one pair of panties in the washer machine, that got mixed into the load of clothes that the cleaning lady washed, folded and then placed into drawers.
When confronted, the cleaning lady and the housekeeper apologized for not noticing the heart-shaped panties that had the potential to cause much calamity to a great marriage. And as I sat listening to this story, the panty caper couple said that it’s because of situations like this that it’s important to believe whatever your husband says. If the wife had not, she might have totally jumped the gun and done something like throw him out the house before he had a chance to explain that those panties had nothing to do with him.
I feel them on that. However, I don’t have a cleaning lady or a housekeeper.
It also got me to thinking about folks who hire other folks to fold their underwear. I have a few friends who pay for this service at Boston laundromats. But me personally? I like to wash, iron and fold my own clothes. Don’t want no one’s juju on MY panties.
That is all.