Adrienne Writes

I went to a party last night. Nice party. The setting was a condo on the 21st floor of a very swanky downtown apartment building overlooking the lake and Soldier’s Field. I’d always wanted to go inside this building because it is so very beautiful. As you might suspect, the people who live in this building make BIG money. The gentleman who hosted this party had floors of parquet and marble. The bar was fully stocked. The drinks flowed. He had Veuve Clicquot chilling in the fridge and he had already frozen strawberries to place in everyone’s champagne flute.

The crew and I stayed for a good three hours. Then, it was late and time to go. I took a bathroom break. Upon coming out, an enormously tall women blocked my exit from the bathroom and said: “Can you take me home on your way out?”

This woman was standing next to the friend, N., who had invited me to the party. Thinking that the tall lady and my friend, N., knew each other, I tried hard to wash the screwface look off my face. Then I said: “Er. Well. Where do you live? Because I’m going south.”

The tall lady points her thumb in the general southern and western direction. “I live over there. Not too far. Great! I’m going to the bathroom. Wait for me?”

I still have the screwface look going on because I feel completely bamboozled. Who randomly asks a stranger for a ride home? And then asks you to WAIT?

Tall lady goes into the bathroom. The crew and I are putting our heels back on. (No stilettos in THIS house, and I totally understand!) Then, my girl N. asks me “do you Know this lady?”

Says I: “No. I thought you knew her because you all were standing so close together. Thought she’d already talked with you.”

Says N: “I don’t know his lady. I wouldn’t have invited her in your car.”

Says another crew member S. : “Who is she? Why is she asking you for a ride? How did she get here anyway?”

Then our host comes over and says: “What’s going on?”

We tell him. Meanwhile, tall lady is still in the bathroom.

There are only about six people left in his crib at this point. The host says that the lady in question is the friend of his cousin and he doesn’t understand why she’s asking for a ride home. “She’s cool,” he says. “she’s good. She has a ride. Go on.”

So we leave, go to the private parking lot and head up out of there.

So here’s my issue. I realize that I told this lady that I would take her home. But then I realized that this lady wasn’t a friend of my friend. And then, we hung out for a few minutes for her to come out that bathroom but she never did. And then, if she lived so close, why did she need a ride? And if she lived in THAT neighborhood, then taking a cab would not possibly have set her back. And then, her directionless thumb point? What was that? Usually when you ask someone where they live, they give you a cross street, or a neighborhood, or an address. If you’re going to ask me to play cabbie, then you should be providing an exact address because I’m not going out of my way since I already have to take home two people. And, was the lady in the bathroom throwing up? That’s the other issue with taking folks home. Sometimes they’re sick.

As I said, “I’m headed south.”